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The Morning Scan
Random Notes From Far Arcturus

From: D & W
To: Bobbi Marcus, Bobbi Marcus Public Relations
cc: Gayle Fine, Katheryn Schenker Associates

Dear Bobbi/Gayle:

I don't know whether you have been following what's happening on the web page lately, but let me direct your attention to the following list of celebrities who have been spotted at our various Steely Dan shows so far:

- Kenny G
- Dimebag Darrell
- guys from AC/DC
- Alan Rosenberg
- Bobby McFerrin
- Bob Seeger
- Lenny Kravitz's cousin
- Kevin McHale
- Brian Dennehy

and so on. Pretty grim, right? I mean, let's take the long view - in '72 we couldn't buy a thrill, in '74 we quit touring altogether, by '79 we're shot - then comes '93, and it's Demi Moore, it's Bruce Willis, it's Roseanna Arquette, it's the Greek Theatre, we have finally arrived. Look at this year's guest list - are we to understand that we are now over the hill, are now somewhere on the downside arc of the golden parabola of our fame and fortune? Is that what you want us to think? I mean, hell, we haven't had a hit in a few years, this is true, but surely we deserve better than this?

Look, we are heading west, we are getting set for our big Hollywood Bowl gig, traditionally there will be a big backstage party and lots of celeb's in attendance - right? Of course, but what KIND of celeb's are we going to have this year? That's what we want to know. Here is a suggested list of the backstage celebrities we would like to see at the Bowl or anywhere else for that matter:

- Elizabeth Pena
- Marilu Henner
- Michael Anthony
- Michelle Pfeiffer
- Anne Heche
- Kate Moss
- anyone whose first name is "Dr."
- Madeleine Stowe (for Richard)
- Penelope Ann Miller
- Penelope Ann Miller look-alikes
- Diane Lane
- Libby Titus
- Heads of promotion for expensive studio gear, guitars, etc
- Rachel Marcus
- Cedric the Entertainer

These are just guidelines of course. I don't want to tell you gals how to do your jobs. But I have taken the liberty of composing the following form letter which could perhaps be mailed out or messengered to the people on the list (and whatever starlets you know about that we don't that fit the profile). How does this sound:
Dear Anne Heche,

As you may be aware, we will be performing at the H*O*L*L*Y*W*O*O*D B*O*W*L on Monday August 12. We would be delighted to have you come down and enjoy our little show and party with us and our small and devoted staff afterwards. Can you make it? We would of course provide luxurious transportation for you if necessary, and if you get hungry on the way into town (it's a longish drive from Malibu. no?) your driver will be glad to take you out to a fabulous Northern Italian dinner en route. The show takes about two and a half hours all told, and is wonderful. Afterwards, if you are too tired or emotionally drained to make the backstage scene - no problem. We will be happy to personally escort you back to the beach or wherever you are staying with your current producer/director boyfriend, who is hopefully on location elsewhere, preferably in another time zone. Libations of all sorts will be provided - we are, after all, professional musicians - so no sweat on that count. In case you are not up for the long drive home, we have available a charming bungalow suite at the Chateau Marmont, well-stocked with all sorts of goodies including CD's by the most beloved japanese/korean female chantoosies of the day. Everything has been taken care of, everything. RSVP your earliest convenience, we can't wait to meet you, etc. etc. etc.

Walter Becker & Donald Fagen
Founders, Steely Dan

Pretty good. huh? Of course this one is just for the ladies - I don't care what the one you send the dentists, etc., says. You might want to get us a couple of sort of classy guys to round things out a little - maybe a Nobel Prize winner or two. Is that guy Kary Mullis still around? See if we can get him. Let me know if you can improve this note in any way and please e-mail us the final mailing list before the things go out.



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